I do not feel safe

I wrote the following in the middle of Friday night whilst unable to sleep following that day’s press attention:

“Lived experience leadership is the buzzword of the day. Rightly so of course - we’re fighting tooth and nail for people who have been involved with the criminal justice system to be right at the very centre of all conversations about the criminal justice system.

But when “woman who runs charity tackling stigma and discrimination speaks on radio about stigma and discrimination” turns into national headlines about her “whingeing”, the irony can’t be missed!

Where it crossed a line though is that a tabloid journalist turned up at my front door, when I was in the middle of cooking tea and my 4-year old daughter was there ready and waiting to answer the door to him!

Chief Executives in the sector who don’t have a criminal record (the vast majority of course)… when’s the last time a journalist invaded your privacy to such a degree that they turned up on the doorstep of your home when they could have used any other method of contact?!

There may be nothing we can do about the internet trolls spewing hate in the comments sections of tabloid articles, but there will never be lived experience leadership in this sector unless, at the very least, people who do speak out publicly are protected from this sort of personal attack by journalists.

This is a conversation that the wider sector needs to be having whenever lived experience leadership is mentioned.”

Then Saturday came and all hell broke loose.

A journalist used a long lens to photograph me in my own garden, right outside my back door.

Now I don’t know whether the significance of that is clear or not but to make it absolutely explicit:

I HAVE A FOUR YEAR OLD LIVING IN MY HOUSE WITH ME AND A STRANGE MAN IS SAT OUTSIDE TAKING PHOTOS WITH A LENS THAT CAN CLEARLY SEE THROUGH THE WINDOWS!!!!

Someone please tell me how that is even legal?!

And you know what, if it’s legal then how on earth is it ethical?!

My offence was 12 years ago!!!

The “news” story that they were running on Saturday was that I had got remarried. That was 3 years ago!!! That is in no way news!!!

I have not felt safe enough to return to my house with my daughter and we won’t until this media storm blows over.

My home feels violated. It no longer feels safe. I have done my absolute best to retain some manner of equilibrium for my daughter’s sake but there is absolutely no way that this isn’t rubbing off on her. Regardless of my best efforts, of course she overhears bits and pieces of my panicked phone calls and understands that something isn’t entirely normal about having an unexpected sleepover without her pyjamas or her favourite cuddly toy.

So I’ll say it again, even louder this time:

THIS IS NOT OK! THIS IS NOT WHAT PEOPLE WITH LIVED EXPERIENCE IN LEADERSHIP POSITIONS SHOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH!

As a sector we have to work out a way of doing better - of creating some degree of safety for those people speaking out. We may not be able to directly influence the gutter press but we can call for change - LOUDLY. We can stand together in solidarity and remind each other that what we’re all doing, regardless of which part of the system we’re working in, is trying to move towards a more compassionate, inclusive and cohesive society for ourselves and for the generations that will follow.